The Realities of Doula Work: The Good, The Beautiful, The Bad, and The Ugly

Becoming a doula is often rooted in passion—a deep desire to support families during one of

the most significant moments of their lives. The role is sacred, intimate, and incredibly

rewarding, but like any profession, it comes with its share of challenges. Doula work is not just

about birth; it’s about being present in both the joyful and difficult moments of a family’s journey.

So, let’s dive into the ins and outs of what being a doula truly involves.

The Good: Empowerment, Connection, and Transformation

One of the most rewarding aspects of being a doula is witnessing the power and strength of

birthing people. Every birth is unique, and being able to provide unwavering support as

someone moves through labour and into parenthood is incredibly fulfilling.

Empowerment

One of the doula’s primary goals is to empower birthing people to advocate for themselves,

understand their options, and make informed choices. Watching someone go from feeling

unsure or anxious to fully trusting their body and their birth process is awe-inspiring.

Deep Connection

As a doula, you form intimate, trusting relationships with your clients. These connections often

go beyond the birth room, as many families view their doula as a lifelong ally. Supporting a

family through such a vulnerable experience creates bonds that are hard to replicate in any

other job.

Transformative Births

Whether it’s a straightforward labour or a challenging one, the transformation that occurs is

nothing short of miraculous. You get to witness the moment a family is born, the first breaths of

a newborn, and the pure, raw emotions that fill the room. Being part of such a sacred

experience is an honour and privilege.

The Beautiful: The Magic of Birth and the Power of Presence

While the work can be challenging, there’s something undeniably beautiful about the journey

itself. Doulas get to witness the sheer magic of life coming into the world and be present for

some of life’s most powerful, defining moments.

The Beauty of Birth

Birth is raw, intense, and unpredictable, but in the midst of all that, there’s an undeniable

beauty. The moment a parent meets their baby for the first time is filled with a kind of love and

emotion that words can hardly describe. Being present for those moments—watching parents

hold their baby, hear their first cries, and share in those first sacred moments—makes all the

sleepless nights and long hours worth it.

The Power of Being Present

There’s beauty in simply being there, holding space for a birthing person through one of the

most vulnerable experiences of their life. Doulas often talk about the ‘quiet magic’ of their

work—the act of being present, of offering reassurance, touch, and encouragement.

Sometimes, it’s not about what we say or do, but about the energy we bring to the room. In the

chaos of birth, this presence can be grounding and even transformative.

The Bad: Long Hours, Unpredictability, and Emotional Strain

For all the beauty in birth work, it can be physically and emotionally taxing. Doulas are on call

for weeks before and after a client’s due date, making the job unpredictable and demanding.

On-Call Lifestyle

Being on-call means you could be summoned to a birth at any time, day or night. Sleep

deprivation is common, and it’s not unusual to attend a birth that lasts upwards of 24 hours. This

can be exhausting, especially when balancing the demands of family life or other work

commitments.

Unpredictable Births

Birth rarely follows a script. You may go in thinking you’ll be supporting a short, natural labour,

only to end up in a situation that involves a long induction or an emergency C-section.

Navigating hospital systems, advocating for clients, and handling unexpected turns can be

challenging, especially when emotions run high.

Emotional Labour

Doulas hold space for all types of births, not just the ones that go smoothly. Supporting a family

through a traumatic or loss experience can take a toll. Bearing witness to difficult moments and

holding space for grief while still providing care is one of the most emotionally draining aspects

of the job.

The Ugly: Burnout, Boundaries, and Undervaluation

The realities of being a doula go beyond the physical and emotional demands; systemic issues

in healthcare and the undervaluation of birth work can make it even more challenging.

Burnout

The intensity of doula work can lead to burnout if you’re not careful about setting boundaries

and taking care of yourself. Constantly being on-call, coupled with the emotional demands of the

job, can wear down even the most passionate doulas over time. Self-care and clear limits are

crucial to sustaining a long-term practice.

Lack of Boundaries

New doulas, in particular, may struggle with boundaries, feeling pressure to be available at all

times or go beyond their scope of practice. While the desire to support is strong, it’s important to

remember that doulas are not medical professionals. Trying to step into a role that isn’t yours

can not only harm you but also put clients at risk.

Undervaluation of Work

Birth work is often undervalued in both financial and professional terms. Doulas frequently work

long hours for modest pay, and in some areas, there’s still a lack of understanding about what a

doula actually does. Advocating for fair compensation and educating people on the importance

of doula work is an ongoing challenge in the field.

Finding Balance: Staying Grounded in the Work

Despite the challenges, many doulas wouldn’t trade their work for anything else. The key to

longevity in the profession is finding balance—setting clear boundaries, surrounding yourself

with a supportive community, and engaging in regular self-care.

Community Support

Having a network of fellow doulas or birth workers can make all the difference. Birth work can

feel isolating, and sharing experiences with others who understand the highs and lows can

provide much-needed emotional support and guidance.

Continuous Education

Birth work is ever-evolving, and staying informed on the latest research, techniques, and

practices helps doulas feel more confident and empowered in their roles. This ongoing learning

also ensures that you can offer clients the best possible support.

Self-Care and Boundaries

Doula work requires giving so much of yourself. Ensuring you have time to recharge,

decompress, and maintain healthy boundaries with clients is crucial. Whether it’s taking time off

between births or creating a clear on-call schedule, prioritizing your well-being will help you

show up fully for the families you support.

Doula work is rewarding, challenging, and, at times, heartbreaking. But for those who feel called

to the profession, it’s also an opportunity to make a lasting impact on families and the birth

community. The good, the beautiful, the bad, and the ugly all come together to form a career

that, while not always easy, is filled with purpose, passion, and profound moments of

connection. If you’re considering becoming a doula or are already on the path, remember that

your presence in the birth space matters, and the support you provide is invaluable.

Doula - Vanessa Hickey